My stomach growled. I needed food. It was lunch time.

I set out to solve this problem despite being plagued by a dangerous level of indecisiveness. Two words came to mind: dollar menu.

Cheap. Simple. Easy. Problem solved.

Or so I thought. The course of events of the next several minutes still has me puzzled.

I pulled up to the drive through window anticipating speedy, affordable satisfaction. I ended up with two tiny hamburgers, a small pile of chicken nuggets, a fistful of french fries, a bucket of soda, and a cup of creamy, frozen superfluity for dessert. It cost me nearly ten dollars.

Afterwards, I lounged for hours like a beached whale, feeling distended, unhealthy and grumpy. I tried to retrace my ...

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